So a Pittsburgh judge is in hot water for hitting on women in his courtroom. Apparently the guy – Gerard Alonge – keeps making awkward passes at various attorneys, sometimes calling them at home and even showing up at their driveway unannounced! The women were understandably creeped out by the guy, but the judge’s lawyers say it’s all pretty harmless – the judge doesn’t pick up social cues very well.
Which, to me, makes him a lousy judge.
Anyhoo, this leads me to the point of this ridiculously powerful Gregalogue. We’ve created all sorts of disorders for behaviors that are, well, just behaviors. Take attention deficit disorder, which many folks use as an excuse for lack of focus. Or boredom. Or stupidity. Then there’s intermittent explosive disorder, used to describe people who can’t control their temper – otherwise known as violent jerkface syndrome. It was previously called Sean Penn Syndrome. And before that…oh wait, it was always called Sean Penn Syndrome.
So I ask you: why doesn’t the judge have a disorder too? Why can’t social ineptitude be a medical illness? Fact is, for many men, it’s highly prevalent, debilitating and humiliating. The only known treatment is booze. Fact: bars were created for SID (social ineptitude disorder) – without them, most men wouldn’t be able to approach women, get married and have baby boys, who are usually born with the same problem.
But I digress. I believe social ineptitude should be labeled a medical illness, and Obamacare should pay for my outstanding bill at Rosie’s bar and grill. It really is the right thing to do -and if you disagree with me, you’re probably a homophobic racist who eats pandas.