Happy New Years, you turkeys! If you can't wait for my DVD to come out on February 16th, then check out this list of theaters that will be showing "Black Dynamite" in 2010:
- January 1st- E Street Cinema (Washington, DC)
- January 2nd- Dryden Theatre (Rochester, NY)
- January 8th- The Palace (Syracuse, NY)
- January 8th- Brew & View at the Vic Theatre (Chicago, IL)
- January 8th- Oklahoma City Museum of Art (Oklahoma City, OK)
- January 9th- Ken Cinema (San Diego, CA)
- January 15th- Belcourt Theatre (Nashville, TN)
- January 15th- Inwood Theatre (Dallas, TX)
- January 16th- Cleveland Cinematheque (Cleveland, OH)
- January 16th- State Theater (Ann Arbor, MI)
- January 21st- Red Vic (San Francisco, CA)
- January 22nd- Nuart Theatre (Los Angeles, CA)
- January 22nd- Nickelodeon Theatres (Santa Cruz, CA)
- February 1st- Cinefest Theatre (Atlanta, GA)
- February 2nd- Bama Theatre (Tuscaloosa, AL)
- February 5th- Putnam Arts Lecture Hall (Kenne, NH)
- February 5th- Art Theater (Long Beach, CA)
- March 12th- AFI Silver Theatre Culture Center (Silver Spring, MD)
Make FSITO your charity this Holiday Season!
Special guest performer, DJ SUCKAPUNCH, aka Scott Sanders, the director of BLACK DYNAMITE, is spinning at The GlassLands Gallery in NYC this Friday night. Come listen, dance, and indulge in a Black Dynamite Holiday Jager Bomb!
The performance starts at 2AM, after the midnight show of BLACK DYNAMITE at Sunshine Cinema. Bring your movie stub to The GlassLands Gallery and enter to win Black Dynamite posters, t-shirts, and more!
And remember, whatever you do this Holiday Season, put yo' ankles in it!
BLACK DYNAMITE Prepares to Kick More Asses in More Cities
Due to increasing and continued demand, BLACK DYNAMITE will expand to play a series of special engagement screenings in cities across the US.
Screenings kick off November 20th in Portland, OR, Minneapolis, MN and in the Bay Area as part of the Oakland Underground Film Festival.
Between now and February 6, 2010, Black Dynamite will make stops in Los Angeles, New York City, San Diego, Boston, Dallas, Denver, Oklahoma, New Hampshire, Arizona, Seattle, and Buffalo, among others.
Directed by Scott Sanders, BLACK DYNAMITE is a Blaxploitation comedy starring Michael Jai White, Tommy Davidson, Arsenio Hall, Cedric Yarbrough, Kym Whitley and Salli Richardson-Whitfield. The film gained national attention due to its sensational premiere at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival. BLACK DYNAMITE was acquired by Sony. It was released in select theaters on October 16th, 2009.
Please visit http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com for trailer, synopsis, cast bios and more.
To follow Black Dynamite online, visit:
For detailed information on when and where to see Black Dynamite, please refer to: http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com/movie_listing
RE: LETTER FROM MICHAEL JAI WHITE
Dear Black Dynamite fans:
I can tell by watching the activity on the Internet that people around the world are eager to see Black Dynamite.
It is our fans who have helped us get the word out thus far, and we greatly appreciate the love and support they have shown us.
As I am sure you know, an early cut of the movie has leaked on the Internet, and seems to be quite popular. Last I checked, the comments on Twitter and Facebook have been only positive. I love that the buzz on the web is so good, and that we have so many new fans. But I would like to stress that the version of the film online is NOT the final cut.
The final cut of Black Dynamite, which is currently in theaters, is the way director Scott Sanders and I envisioned the movie. It is the film we are proud of, and the one we want to share with audiences worldwide.
Believe me, if you or people you know like the rough cut of Black Dynamite you saw online, you will love the final cut of the film that is in theaters now.
If you love the version you saw online, then support the film and buy a t-shirt (http://www.blackdynamitemovie.com/store-main).
My sincere thanks.
Michael Jai White (Black Dynamite)
BLACK DYNAMITE MOVIE LISTINGS
Regal E-Walk Stadium 13
247 W. 42nd St.
New York, NY 10036
Beverly Center Cinemas
8522 Beverly Blvd #835
Los Angeles, CA 90048
1049 Ponce De Leon Aveue N.E.
Atlanta, GA 30306
November Weekends Beginning the 13th – Boston, MA
Coolidge Corner Theatre
290 Harvard St
Brookline MA 02446
November 13 - 19 – Springfield, MO
Moxie Cinema LLC
431 S. Jefferson, #108
Springfield, MO 65806
November 13 - 19 – Spokane, WA
The Magic Lantern Theatre
25 W. Main Ave
Spokane, Washington 99201
November 13 - 19 – Columbia, MO
10 Hitt Street
Columbia, MO 65201
November 13 - 19 – Fort Collins, CO
300 E Mountain Ave
Fort Collins, CO 80524
November 20 – San Francisco, CA
A presentation of the Oakland Underground Film Festival
429 Castro Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
November 20 & 21 – Minneapolis, MN
2906 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55408
November 21 – Oakland, CA
A presentation of the Oakland Underground Film Festival
3200 Grand Ave
Oakland, CA 94610
December 4 & 5 – Houston, TX
2009 West Gray
Houston, TX 77019
December 11 & 12 – Denver, CO
590 Downing St
Denver, CO 80218
December 13 – Los Angeles, CA
The New Beverly Cinema
Triple Feature: Black Dynamite, Planet Terror, Death Proof
January 2 – Rochester, NY
900 East Ave
Rochester, NY 14607
January 9 – San Diego, CA
4061 Adams Ave
San Diego, California 92116
And the Grand Prize for the Worth1000 "DRAW SMACKY HIGH ON LIFE CONTEST" goes to...
Meowza, for this depiction of Smacky Getting High on Chocolate
Runner Up: LHamilton, for this depiction of Smacky Getting High in a Balloon
3rd Place: Cowcowthecow, for this depiction of Smacky Getting High on Caffeine
To see full-size versions our winners and the complete display of contest entries, visit http://illo.worth1000.com/contests/24014/draw-smacky-high-on-life-contest
Annoucing the winners of the Facebook Graffiti version of the FSITO PROUDLY PRESENTS the "DRAW SMACKY HIGH ON LIFE CONTEST"
Grand Prize Winner: Jamie Noguchi, for this depiction of Smacky Getting High with his Jetpack
Runner Up: Sebastien Monnier, for this depiction of Smacky Getting High with his Dynamite Style
A HEARTFELT LETTER FROM GEN. AARON SIRBAIHU, FOUNDER, FRICFFSITO (Foreign Residents in China Following FSITO)
I write to you as a concerned American now residing in Beijing, China. Having myself fought tooth and nail with the tiger of cleaning product addiction, I know that beasts no know bounds: it is up to us humans to wield the whips and chairs and put them back into their circus cages. You can thus imagine my simultaneous dismay and lack of surprise when, upon arriving in Beijing from the United States, I found the dirty white horse galloping upon the heads, the track-ridden arms and, alas, the hearts of Chinese orphans.
Meet Lin Gu and Qin Qin (http://www.flickr.com/photos/29261031@N05/3958494392/). I first came into contact with these tragically adorable children in the smoke-filled alleys frequented by prostitutes and lost souls behind the Beijing train station. Lin Gu was selling pirated copies of The Da Vinci Code from a cardboard box, which activity, I later learned, only financed the "nightcap" portion of her smack addiction.
The rest she paid for by selling Ritalin to high school seniors studying for the college entrance exam. The track marks up and down her left arm looked like a map of the Yangtse River delta.Lin Gu was just 27 months old.
Qin Qin, her paramour, had an impish smile that belied his resentful, ruthless nature. To daily slake his insatiable smack thirst, Qin Qin was pimping runaways from the northwest provinces and had brutally maimed a policeman in a face off now known throughout the quarter as Two Trees Screaming.With a little good will, a lot of financial persuasion, and few dollops of applesauce, I managed to lure Lin Gu and Qin Qin out of Beijing's back alleys and into the warmth of my home. Kung fu therapy did not help these children, as both had skills far beyond my own: I suffered a fractured kneecap at the hand of Lin Gu during some warm-up exercises.
Fortunately, finger painting, connect-the-dots drawing and singing anti-drug songs did reach the children. How fondly I recall those days we spent drinking Snowflake beer, smoking Peonies, and singing "Strongly Beat Down the White Horse" and "What Will You Do When the Powder Ghost Comes for You?" We even made a few posters, such as: "The Red Guard Beats White Horse Sickness! Orphans, join Papa Mao in harshly judging the smackheads" (http://www.flickr.com/photos/29261031@N05/3958500302/).
After about fourteen months in treatment, Qin Qin managed to escape from time out, and word is that he's running the streets again. Lin Gu, though, I am happy to report, remains smack free and is currently looking forward to making a positive contribution to American society. That's right! On May 13 she sailed from Xiamen for the United States. After a brief delay due to an unpleasant encounter with Somali pirates, she landed in Tulum, Mexico on August 26 and is now in Ciudad Juarez awaiting transportation across the border into the United States. One more orphan saved from smack, thanks to FSITO's inspiring force!
Gen. Aaron Sirbaihu
Founder, FRICFFSITO (Foreign Residents in China Following FSITO)
SMACK SALES DROP 18% IN THREE WEEK BATTLE WITH GLOBAL DRUG LORDS
28 September 2009 NEW YORK - Since September 9th, Fight Smack in the Orphanage’s team of valiant Smack Warriors have busted a total of eighteen smack dealers, confiscated $80,043 worth of smack cash, and saved ninety-seven local orphans from an estimated six hundred and thirty-five hour smack attack.
Despite this great success, there is one thorn in the Smack Warriors’ bouquet of roses.
All the warriors gave eight to thirty-six hours of their time to the cause, but it appears one warrior may have given his life.
Warrior Daryl McFaryl was never seen again after his shift on Thursday, September 10th, according to his Grandmother.
Grandma McFaryl contacted the Fight Smack in the Orphanage Headquarters yesterday with the grim news.
“It makes no sense,” lamented Grandma McFaryl, “He knew I was making his favorite apple pie and he still didn’t come home. This can mean only one thing- he’s dead! And if he isn’t, I’ll kill him.”
Services will be held for Daryl McFaryl Wednesday, September 30th whether he comes home or not.
-Jeff Johnson, News 1
RESTORATION CREW DISCOVERS PORTION OF ANTI-SMACK SONNET BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
LONDON, UK, 24 September 2009 – At 7:00 AM this morning Greenwich Mean Time, a restoration crew at London’s Globe Theater unearthed what appears to be an early draft of one of William Shakespeare’s famous Collected Sonnets.
“We were stabilizing the theater’s foundations and there, buried in the soot, was this yellowed piece of old paper,” architect Donald Weston told the BBC this morning. A reasonable facsimile of the text discovered (taken from a photo off Mr. Weston’s iPhone) is below:
To say within thine own deep sunken eyes,
That Smack were the cause of thy deep malaise,
And a childhood lost to wanton smack abuse,
Has made thy beauty dim, thy skin charteuse,
By one bold act we may birth a new age,
So Fight Smack in the Orphanage!
Responding to questions as to how he and his colleagues were able to determine beyond a reasonable doubt that the letter had indeed been penned by the William Shakespeare, Mr. Weston indignantly responded only that “it was what he did for a living” and he “had his methods.”
Speaking for the non-profit organization Fight Smack in the Orphanage (FSITO), Founder Gloria Grey said she was “honored” that Shakespeare had been a supporter of the cause, and admitted that she was "not at all surprised" as she had always thought The Bard was “a bit strung out” judging by his later work.
-Hoyt Burroughs, BBC News
PRESUMED LOST, “DING DONG ROAR” EPISODE RESURFACES
15 September 2009 BRONXVILLE, NEW YORK- Jason Buffard, an unemployed futures trader, discovered a never-before-seen episode of the 1970’s children’s show, “Ding Dong Roar” in his mother’s basement today. To add to the excitement, the episode is rumored to star community hero and kung fu master Black Dynamite.
“I didn’t know it was going to be a kid’s show from the title and the, uh, kind of box I found it in, but it’s pretty ill,” Buffard said, “And I totally agree with Black Dynamite’s drug message.”
The short-lived classic “Ding Dong Roar” aired from 1976-1978 on PBS. The titular character, Ding Dong the Lion, was known for his courage, but not for his common sense. Some of the show’s better known episodes include “It Burns When I Tinkle” and “Friendly Fingers: The Step Daddy Song,” narrated by Marlo Thomas.
However, after the country-western themed “Go Home with Strangers” became a hit in 1978, thousands of American children went missing, causing a monumental backlash, led primarily by American performer and OJ-enthusiast Anita Bryant.
Buffard’s exciting discovery has New Media scholars in a tizzy. “I watched the complete first season of “Ding Dong Roar” during graduate school. Of course, I was just as concerned as everyone else,” says Dr. Roland D. Tubbage, Youth Studies expert and director of the National Institute on Child Welfare, “The writers of "Ding Dong," should have been arrested for their negligence.”
In the meantime, enjoy the show!
FSITO SMACK WARRIORS™ DARE TO TAKE A STAND
On September 9, 10 and 11, 2009, FSITO’s team of attractive young Smack Warriors™ will take a stand against the increasing scourge of smack in America’s orphanages.
Petitions in hand, the Smack Warriors™ will be geared-up to create awareness. The goal? To obtain 50,000 signatures, and give away 33 “Care More” buttons—each.
“Smack is the number one problem with orphans in orphanages,” Gloria Grey, founder of FSITO and macramé-enthusiast, said recently in an interview with Barbra Walters, “The number two problem, of course, being loneliness.”
“The Man has always been tough to take down, whether he’s ignoring Hurricane Katrina, or pumping orphanages full of smack,” continued Grey, “But one thing’s certain, if we turn our backs on orphans as we turned our back on Hurricane Katrina, not only will our streets be filled with Smack addicted orphans, but they will also be underwater."
If you too want to save orphans, you can find a friendly Smack Warrior™ at the following locations:
8:00 AM TO 2:00 PM
The New York Times Building
Washington Square Park
2:00 PM TO 8:00 PM
Meat Packing District: 14th & 9th
Washington Square Park
Bedford Ave. and N 7th Street, Williamsburg Brooklyn
For more Smack facts, visit www.fightsmackintheorphanage.org
Please send all press inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org
FSITO Touring the Nation to Save Smacked-Up Kids
UNITED STATES, 1 September 2009- FSITO announced today that it is stepping up its community outreach by joining forces with antidrug organization Citizens Understanding Narcotics Treatment founder Betty Farmer and spearheading a nationwide crusade to bring Smack awareness to the American public. Volunteer “Smack Fighters” will begin touring the nation in September 2009, with the hope of improving the quality of life for Smack-addicted orphans.
According to FSITO, its “Smack Van” will provide a safe haven for parentless smack-addicted kids. It will also supply clean or “refurbished” hypodermic needles and a small weekly stipend. “So many of these kids get their drug money by committing petty crime,” says Farmer. “Petty crime is often the gateway to more serious offenses– like homicide, murder, armed robbery, and identity theft.
We can’t stop these kids from doing drugs, but what we can do is to offer them a safe, friendly alternative to alleyways and flop houses, and put a few bucks in their pocket to buy a sandwich, beverage or additional clean needles.”
Though optimistic about their results, Farmer admits they can’t do it alone. “We’ve contacted former president Jimmy Carter several times and have a good feeling that we’re going to hear back from him very soon. And Maya Angelou’s cousin, Dontrell Angelou, has promised that he’s working on a poem for us. At long last we feel we’re seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for this forgotten sector of our society – orphaned preteens who are all jived up on joy flakes.”
Marion Barry, FSITO founder, explains that the tour was organized to help expand FSITO’s work. “We’ve been doing a great job for years with the FSITO clinic, so why can’t we take it to the next level? If we’re really cleaning up the streets, lets GET on the streets. You all dig?”
Not everyone digs.
There has been a strong backlash against the “Smack Van” initiative from Conservative Anti-Drug Groups.
“Why in heaven’s name would you provide a child with the means to do drugs? It is blatantly irresponsible and should be illegal,” John McDoogan, head of the Kids Shant Engage in Drugs Coalition.
Barry defended FSITO’s position in the following statement:
“Ideally, FSITO would take in all smack addicted orphans and get them off the drugs, but we simply don’t have the funds. What we can do is educate them about the dangers of Smack abuse, and give them a safe place to get clean needles. To be frank, it seems to me that Mr. McDoogan needs to shut the f---- up when grown folks is talking.”
McDoogan made no further comment.
Berry explains that the program will kick off in the same Los Angeles neighborhood where he built the original FSITO anti-Smack clinic in the 1970s. It will then continue all around the country, targeting not only major metropolitan areas, but also smaller communities. Farmer admits that she’s a longtime fan of FSITO’s program. “Reaching out all across America is very important because these orphans don’t have the tools to come to us. So we’re taking it to the streets and we’re bringing fresh needles! Come and get ‘em kids!”